We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My feet surprised me
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