remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
