Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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