I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am midnight drunk by noon
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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