Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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