I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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