I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
