I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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