In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
