Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
