i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
