69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
