One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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