jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
