She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
