you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize