can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
