if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude