I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER