i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today