I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though