You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize