very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
