Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sext me about skeletons
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
