they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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