im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
