Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
