I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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