I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize