so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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