bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
