Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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