matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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