he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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