Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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