Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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