I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
