I just saw a hot homeless man
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
