No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
