Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
