I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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