He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
