What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
