some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you win again, gameday.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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