i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
