Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
