what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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