I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
