i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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