You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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