she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
