Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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