That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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