Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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