also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize